Talk

Do the Dishes

A sudden thought occured to me just now? Why did I find Zen so appealing? Why didnt it slip down the abyss of religions along with Wicca, New Paganism? Why didnt the aura of New Age taint it to an extent that I dismissed it as another escape created by man to escape the harsh glare of reality?

My first foray into Zen (and its kin buddhism and Taoism) came in 2000 when I read about Buddha. There was a parable that was supposed to enlighten the reader about Buddhism was: "Imagine a man struck by an arrow. The arrow has penetrated deeply and blood flows gushes out with no respite. The primary thought in this man's mind is not 'where did this arrow come from?' or 'What speed was it fired from the bow?'. The man's quest is for salve for his wound. In the same way you should deal with your life".

Yes the story above was rendered terribly in my re-telling but the essential take home message was attend to your suffering. Do not waste time inquiring the origin of your suffering. My scientific-inquiry-free-thinker mind smirked at the naivette of Buddha. Facing up to your problems I reasoned was not a strong point of Buddhism.

A year later I encountered Taoism. Its simplicity, Wu-wei (principle of go with the flow) made me re-think my initial reaction. Then it occurred to me that Taoism was not dictating avoiding your problem. It said, face up to it. Deal with it. Do not walk away from it. The arrow is our problem. Be it work, life, the grand scheme of things etc. Don't waste time looking for it's origin, or ignoring it. Keep in mind that you are welcome to look for the origin just dont do that instead of dealing with the arrow. Face it. Be one with it. Accept it. (not the arrow, but the situation). Accept the situation and deal with it.

Another theme in Zen is "doing the dishes". A lot of koans revolve around the therapeutic benefits of 'doing the dishes'. The central theme is "Dont do the dishes to get clean dishes. Do the dishes to do dishes". I'll attempt to tie this in with the arrow theme shortly. A lot of times in our lives we go through the motions to get through to the next stage. We undertake a lot of activities because we have to, but we dont acknowledge that we are undertaking these activities. Let me rephrase. We want clean dishes. Why do we want clean dishes?

1. we'll have to eat soon, and we dont have any clean dishes. New ones cost too much and we ran out of paper plates.
2. the dirty dishes are stacked to the ceiling and we are expecting guests over shortly.

Well, so we pull out the sponge, the dawn and attack the dishes. The music blaring, the TV on some station. Thoughts crowd our mind, dishes pass from left sink to right to stand via the scrubber (no, I am not including the dish washer). We've pretended we didnt do the dishes. We've fixated on the end result. Not on the action. We've spent 15 minutes of our life wishing we hadn't lived those minutes. We've probably wondered at the back of our minds: "wish I was rich enough to pay someone to do this" (or some permutation thereof). You've just spent 15 minutes of your life and wasted them. Thats the total net worth you've assigned to those minutes. Total disregard, contempt and indifference. This apathy is a result of your belief that it was done as a last resort.

Reflect back to things in your life that you perform in a similar manner. Paying Bills? yep. When's that due date? oh wait! where did that bill go? Arent' I supposed to pay something at this point in the month?

Add up those minutes and you find that a significant chunk of your life is spent without living in it. What does this mean? Well, remember the movies, when somebody is dying the theme invariably returns to: "live every moment of your life", "live life to the fullest". Well this is where your life goes. In moments like this. the dishes, the bills, the laundry. This is your life. GET USED TO IT. It doesnt change.

Consider this for a second. Take a step back and ask. Well what if you didnt have to do the laundry. Yes you can pay someone to pick up your laundry and do it and bring it back. You can hire a maid to put the clothes up. Same for the cleaning, and the dishes. Now what about food? Do you have to eat food? is it a waste of time? well, its fun sometimes, lets let that slide. What about sleeping, umm. Its nice to catch a few zzzs sometime. Thats kinda life living your life to the fullest too. Ok, so what about brushing your teeth? Can we skip that? can we have someone else do it? umm I s'pose but that would require you to open your mouth to someone and let them do it. What about taking showers. Settled the line is drawn. Somethings have to be done. No escaping it.

Now take a step back and add all the unnecessary things that you have to do in your life and take as pre-ordained the fact that these activities do in fact have to be performed. Now ask your self given that it is pre-determined that these activities have to be performed how would you rather go through these motions? Would you ignore them and be dragged to them kicking-and-screaming by a mile high pile of stinking dishes, clothes and garbage? Would you prefer to live your life hiding in the shadown of reality, the zone where things are bad but not terrible enough that you dont have to leave your comfort zone to encounter these necessary details of life. Would you like to skip paying the bills (and think about it only when you pay for dinner with your credit card). Do you enjoy the moment when you wonder if the credit card will be refused? Would you like to wait till December and furiously jot down your resolutions which will follow through full steam till the 15th of January?

Ok, we'll leave cliche land shortly. What does Zen tell you? Wake up! Wake up! Become mindful. Take a step back. First stand in front of the mirror and acknowledge your presence. Take a deep breath. Concentrate. Acknowledge your presence before the mirror. Acknowledge your life. ALL OF IT. Not just the fun parts, all of it warts and all. This is you. Now do the dishes. Wash them slowly. Watch the suds form. Feel the water over your hands. feel the dirt come of. Watch it wash down the drain. Acknowledge the dish. Put it away. Deal with your life. ALL OF IT. in the same way.

Take the bills. organize them. sort them. file them. collate them. and yeah, pay them. The things you've ignored. The realities you've locked away hoping they go away before they become full fleged emergencies. ACKNOWLEDGE THEM. Deal with your problems. EVERY ONE OF THEM.