The Greeting Map
Rea,
How do you greet someone when every region has different rules? In France, this isn’t just a hypothetical question - it’s a daily challenge that even French people struggle with.
When you meet someone in France, you don’t just say “hello.” You give them kisses on the cheek - but how many depends on where you are. In Paris, it’s two kisses. In Provence, it’s three. In some parts of northern France, it’s four. And which cheek do you start with? That varies too.
French people have actually created maps showing the greeting customs across their country. These “kiss maps” reveal a patchwork of traditions that can change completely just by crossing into the next town. A person from Marseille visiting Normandy might lean in for a third kiss while their host is already pulling away, creating an awkward moment of confusion.
The complexity doesn’t stop there. Age matters - children often get more kisses than adults. Gender matters - men typically shake hands with other men but kiss women. Relationship matters - close friends get kisses, acquaintances might just get a handshake. Time of day can even play a role in some regions.
For visitors, this creates a social minefield. Do you wait to see what the other person does? Do you ask? Do you guess based on what region you’re in? Many French people solve this by simply following the other person’s lead, but even they sometimes get it wrong when traveling within their own country.
What’s remarkable is that despite all this complexity, the system works. These greeting rituals aren’t just arbitrary rules - they’re a way of showing respect, establishing relationships, and acknowledging social connections. The brief moment of figuring out the right greeting becomes a small dance of cultural awareness.
The regional differences developed over centuries as different areas of France maintained their own customs. Even as the country unified politically, these local traditions persisted. Today, they serve as a reminder that France isn’t just one culture but a collection of regional identities, each with its own way of saying hello.
This isn’t just about France, though. Imagine if a French person visited America - they’d be wondering when do people hug versus just shake hands? And when you visit India in December to see relatives, there are different greeting customs there too - when do you hug, and in some places people even touch their elder’s feet as a sign of respect. Every culture has its own greeting map that can seem confusing to outsiders but makes sense to the people who grew up with it.
Love, Abba
